Something rare.

I haven't written here in ages. I don't even know if anyone reads this anymore. But for me, a blog isn't so much for other people; it's for the person who creates it. For them to share what they feel, think, believe, or do, out into the world of the web. It is for them to be an inspiration, a form of support, a person who has gone through something another human being has struggled through or to consequently, and rather unknowingly, act as a way of connecting people through experience. There have been many times where i have read a blog, post, or article online and suddenly felt as though it wasn't only me going through something difficult. I would love for one or two paragraphs of this to be that revelation or feeling of connectedness for someone. My life has drastically changed in the last three years and i feel that i want to share my experiences regardless of what they are, so that in some instance where someone stumbles across my words, they can feel familiarity, adventure, confidence, or understanding where they are lacking it in other parts of their life. I hope to be or help or inspire someone or something, by the simple act of recording (seemingly inane) happenings and thoughts of my world. So, nu kör vi.

For the last three years (February 1st is my anniversary date, i believe) i have been living in sweden. I have already had many ups and downs here, met many people, many horses, seen a share of places, and have much left to do. I admit that it has been an adventure and one that i will surely never forget. However, it has in no way been easy. In these last three years, i have had to do more digging to see who i really am, what i really want, who i really care about, and who really cares about me and this has been extremely trying at times.

Starting out in a place when you are small and staying there throughout, more or less, the entirety of your life allows certain advantages when it comes to friendship. No, the person you had slumber parties with every weekend when you were 6 may not be the person whom you call your best friend now in your mid-twenties, but for the most part, the people whom you call friends are ones you have known for years. They are people who know you through and through, and they have been with you through at least a few struggles and celebrations. They are people with which you feel comfortable around, ones that you can laugh with for the sheer enjoyment of laughing, ones that support you and ones who make you feel like you can tell anything to, without judgement, and most importantly: ones who feel like, or are, your family. 

If you are someone who has left this cozy, warm, familiar environment in search of adventure, in an answer to something more gutteral which has called you elsewhere in life, then you know the extreme loneliness that can accompany such an endeavour. You also know the extreme longing to find, and connect with people like this again. Maybe my journey in the past five years has been a bit unique in my own way, but i know that there are others who have experienced exactly what i have, and am, going through.

As we get older, it becomes more apparent how difficult it can be to really and truly connect with a person. Maybe as children we are more forgiving, more willing to overlook the flaws of other people in lieu of being friends. Children are inadvertently and uncompromisingly innocent and therefore have a greater ability to see one's heart, which is a talent well given. Why is this something that disappears with age? Why is it so difficult to forget differences, to forget so called "social-norms" and just sit down with someone we recognise within ourselves and be friends? Is it the fact that as we grow older, our insecurities can sometimes become louder and intimidate us? And if so, why do we run from people who have the ability to inspire, or instil a confidence within ourself instead of gain strength from them? Why must we feel the need to compete rather than to embrace? 

In these past years, I have faced silent, yet ever apparent, judgement from people i thought were close and it has left me feeling as if my friends didn't truly know, or welcome the person i have become. However on the other hand, i have received warm moments, shared laughter, and many welcoming words from people i barely knew which has given me hope on this adventure. I have to say that in life, there are few things intellectually greater than having a best friend; someone that understands you, helps you, inspires you, tells you when you are wrong, laughs at you when you can tolerate it, and celebrates you without judgement is a person that must be treasured. I also have to say, that as you grow older, the ability to weed out this compatible, wonderful person, becomes harder and harder. You start to realise how unique everyone is, and how unique you are and suddenly you can find yourself feeling very alone. These moments are the times when you show yourself how strong you can be, how the ability to love and feel comfort within your self and who you are as a person, is vital. In these moments, you have to love you more than ever and use the weaknesses you discover to learn, and grow as a human being.

This past year or so has been quite a bit of this. The longer i am in sweden, the more the cultural differences begin to make themselves known. They are like the people: reserved, polite, and relatively quiet but abundant and thriving nonetheless. For me, life is about connecting with others and growing from the experiences you share with them, regardless of these experiences being good or bad. So far, i have done just that. The ability to put oneself in another person's shoes is a huge part of having any sort of respectful connection; I wish that people thought of this more often and were more willing to extend their hearts, minds, or arms to others. But, as they say, you can only change yourself and that is why i have to remember, everyday, to try to be the best version of myself i have ever been. Not only for me, but for the people whom i love in my life.

In order for a person to benefit from being here and living in this world, they need to overcome obstacles. I have met many people who have faced far greater challenges than i could have ever imagined and they have inspired me to be a better and stronger person. And for all of the people in my life who have done this, knowingly or unknowingly, i thank you. For now, i am ready for the new struggles with open arms; i am looking forward to getting to know the person i have yet to become.

until next time.....

-g

Not to say i told you so, but...

I told you I would write tomorrow, which is in fact today. Impressive isn’t it? Well let’s see. The one terrible part of falling behind with my posts is that I have so much to catch you up on once I actually sit myself down to write. I should remember this and use it as motivation to be more proactive about writing. Ha, we’ll see if that really happens. Anyways, I said goodbye to California about two weeks ago. Back in October, the opportunity to work in Sweden came up and from there it grew. I now have a job over there and could not be in any more of a daze. To be honest I am scared shitless. Putting it simply of course. But, I think there would be something seriously wrong with me if I weren’t. A person doesn’t move a third of the way around the world and not feel scared. That just would not be normal. Anyways, I am going in about two weeks and the idea of getting ready is overwhelming. I had a dream the other night that I had forgotten things in California and had to go there to pick them up, then ship them to Sweden, but then I also had to go back home to finish packing there, then I woke up. Needless to say, I am stressing a little bit about it. Understandable. But then I had a dream two nights ago that I went to the barn and no one could understand what I was saying. I think my subconscious is trying to say, “get ready”. So, I guess I’ll have to start packing to calm myself down.

I must say that one thing I feel, with every bone in my body, is lucky. If someone had told me, when I was 18, that in three years I’d be moving to Europe and working with horses I would’ve laughed at them and said, “I wish”. For awhile now, I’ve been trying to convince myself that it’s actually happening. But it is harder than you would think. For some reason, something so unknown is difficult for your mind to comprehend. It’s almost as if it pretends it isn’t real. So my mind has needed a lot of convincing. But that is half of the fun of getting ready to go. Every time I remind myself that I’m doing it, I get to say thank you for having the opportunity and the luck. And I would like to think that this job is karma’s way of coming to me through all the hard work and sacrifices I put in over the last year. One thing is for sure, the world works in mysterious ways and I like it.

I wish I could forever remember the moments I love, like how my cat Royce sits himself in front of me, purring, just waiting honestly and patiently for me to scratch his cheeks. I wish I could remember how soft and velvety his snow grey fur is and how warm he is. I wish I could remember how love drunk he looks when I take my hand away for a second. I’d pull out the memory when I’m most homesick. I wish I could forever remember the way my horse nudges against me asking me to pay him attention and the soft spot on the side of his mouth. I wish I could forever remember the way he pokes his head around the crossties when he hears the jingle of the girth coming down the barn aisle, wondering how much longer he has to wait for his next treat. I wish I could forever remember the way he smells, and keep it for days when I miss him the most. Yea, it’d be nice to perfectly remember the things in my life like that. It would make moving one hundred times easier. I just have to remember that there are always going to be new things I don’t even know that I will love just as much. I’m so excited to meet all the people and horses that are yet to be in my life. I’m so excited for my next adventure.

I’m sure I’ll write soon. I’m making it a resolution to write more. Not that I will actually keep it, but I can definitely try.

Until next time….

-greer

Oops, My bad

The amount of time it has been since i last posted is obscene. However, there is something you should know; i've been writing here and there but had technical difficulties with logging onto my account so i could post. After many failed attempts at trying to change my email address and password, i finally figured the system out and....here i am! So let me post a blog i should have back in August:

Ok so it has been a very long time since I wrote last. Yes I apologize now so that you can all forgive me…not that there are a ton of you reading but it’s flattering to assume. Life has been crazy. It’s been a combination of wondering where the hell the time has gone, what happened to me not knowing anything, and continuing to miss my family and friends. The days go by so quickly and at the end of the week I wonder how they all melt together to form one big chunk of time that eagerly turns into a month. Over twelve of these giant, chunks of time have passed and I am blown away.

A year can teach someone so much if they are dedicated, self-sacrificing, and willing to be a sponge that takes in as much as possible. Let’s just say, I’d like to think I’m soaked. Looking back on where I was a year ago is baffling; I knew hardly anything compared to what I know now. It’s amazing to think about all the things I have yet to discover I have to learn. Kind of convoluted I know, but nevertheless, the truth. Riding is such a different experience, dealing with the horses is such a different experience, teaching lessons is such a different experience, my slow-growing confidence with all of it is such a different experience. They are all tremendously great and it makes me wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch myself operate. It feels more natural now, and as if I know at most, half of the answers as opposed to one hundredth of them. Like I said, I’m getting there. I think that the most important thing is that I keep constantly striving to grow. In this discipline, you must always aim to keep improving, growing and building on the steps you have already taken. Luckily, I can apply that to my knowledge as well as my training. I never want to think that where I am, or what I know is good enough. It can always be better and I should always be willing to learn and know more; definitely one of my life goals. Never settle.

I feel as if the question “do you miss home?” has been asked quite a lot recently. My answer is always yes. It’s not so much my actual home that I miss, but the aura and feeling of my city, the friends I have in it, and my amazing family. It’s the ability to drive ten minutes and laugh with my friends. It’s waking up Sunday mornings to hear my family in the kitchen and smell breakfast creeping into my room. It’s driving around the lakes with the windows rolled down on the way to the beach. It’s the biking adventures in the night, with no plans but just knowing that whatever comes up you’ll eventually get there and have fun regardless. I miss those things. I know that being here and away from all that is just temporary but it’s hard nonetheless. It just makes me appreciate all the things I hold dear so much more, and next time I am with my friends or family I’ll make sure to take a second and remember the feeling.

Alright so can I just say, I LOVE ROLLERCOASTERS! I had the pleasure of going to six flags, magic mountain, last Wednesday and….Oh, my, god. Ok, mind you I hadn’t been to a theme park since Valleyfair, senior year, when I braved the drop of the Wild Thing. I have seriously been missing out. The first one we went on was Tatsu, and they took rollercoasters to another level. The seats suspended you horizontally as if you were flying. We made the mistake of not sitting in the front row. However, being whipped around and upside down while laying on your stomach was such an adrenaline rush! After two and a half minutes of screaming the only thing I could think was that I was in love. That was until the end of the day….until I met X2. First things first, I will say I had brief affairs with a wooden rollercoaster, and one standing up, and one plunging into a pool of water to be cooled down on the hot day, but none were as amazing as X2. It was our last ride of the day and let me tell you, the hour-long wait was sooooo worth it. Their claim to fame was that it was the first 5D ride ever. I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical: “Great, so they have music and fire cannons…I guess that’s cool.” Yea little did I know just how freaking great it would be. So we finally made it to the front of the line, and my friend and I picked the very back seats to sit in. Definitely did not regret this decision. Let me explain: in this rollercoaster, you were strapped in facing backwards and also lying on your back for part of the ride, so because we were in the back it seemed like we were the only ones on the ride. So exhilarating. Alright back to the start….so the guy is like “Are you ready for a great ride?” trying to get us pumped up meanwhile I’m thinking “I really hope I don’t throw up dinner” as the coaster left the station. So our music starts playing and it’s some oldie that is light and comforting and then all of a sudden the coaster starts going up the incline and Enter Sandman by Metallica starts playing and it’s the intro where it’s really intense leading up to the to the climax and while this part is playing we are getting higher, and higher, and higher. As we climb, we slowly get above the entire park, and it was the prettiest thing I have seen in awhile. The sun was just setting behind the mountains in front of us so the sky was a purple, pink, orange and the park was a combination of black outlines and lights below us. I took a mental picture. Yea I know, leave it to me to have a moment while listening to enter sandman and about to plummet backwards. So that’s what was next, a fast, insane, free fall to the ground and just as you thought you were going to float backwards forever it ripped us back up and upside down. Apparently I was screaming the whole time. Oh yea and that fire cannon? Pretty sweet! We spun around and sideways… actually for most of the time I had no idea where I was in relation to the earth but at one point I felt this heat on my leg and next thing I know I see fire shooting towards us. It was amazing. The ride was over and I decided that I love adrenaline. And that I love rollercoasters. And that I love Six Flags. I really want to go back soon.

Well, we will see how long it takes me to write again. I would take a bet on it if I were you. Hmmm lets see, maybe a month? No, maybe two? Whatever. It’ll be next time I feel like something cool happened, which might be tomorrow. One never knows.

There you go! I'm writing for tomorrow already. There are too many updates with my adventure not to.

Until tomorrow....

-greer

Redonk-u-liss

Hey everybody!

So i know that I am becoming worse, and WORSE about writing. I will say it now: I'm sorry. There are many days i find myself sitting in my room at night thinking "i should write" then decide that popping in a movie or reading to fall asleep after a long day of work is a much easier idea. But, tonight is different.

The show season has started...i guess you could say. However, out here there are shows year round because for some odd reason there is never bitter, freezing cold/winds/snow, you get the idea. Anyways, I've gone to three of them now. Raven (showing under the name Double Stuff because of his resemblance to an oreo) has done so well. It's uncanny when i unload him at a show and he is completely content with standing on the side of the trailer and taking it all in. Might i tell you that at home he spooks and snorts at the palms in the outdoor arena, and the chairs in the corner of the covered arena (that's the least of it). Who knows what gets into him once he is in the trailer on his way to a show, but whatever it is, I like it! We have gotten low 70 percents in all four of our tests! I've also shown the pony Tattoo. He is a handful mainly because he is a five year old pony. He definitely knows how to test me. But i love him nonetheless. He is a challenge to ride and has taught me a lot. Last sunday we went to a show without Suzie and he threw a nervous fit in the warm up arena; he was drifting all over the place, bucking when i asked for the canter, bolting around the arena after spooking at the bushes...you name it, he probably did it. The amount of horses in there with us was just way too much for him. Needless to say, i was very nervous for our test. Luckily, once we got in the show ring he calmed down and i pulled a rabbit out of my ass. Thank god! We got through it and it was a great learning experience. I mostly learned that I need Suzie! (Yes, i'm joking...partly)

So this was the first week with Suzie being back from the UK where she taught clinics. While she was gone, i got to play boss for an entire two weeks. I managed the barn, worked the horses, taught the lessons, coached at a couple shows, and felt exhausted all on my own. Impressive huh? By the second week my routine was all worked out and the days went by fast and well. My days off were spent lounging on the couch barely moving; saving all of my energy i had for the next day when it all started again. I am pretty sure that i'm still catching up on sleep. It was very refreshing to see that i could do it on my own. From what i've heard, everyone was happy with how i did and that was my biggest goal. I wanted to ensure that the horses and clients were happy. This is suzie's business and i didn't want to put any less into it than she does, otherwise what good am i looking after it? I had a lot of fun, but was very relieved to have her back last week!

The weather here has been absolutely gorgeous, with the exception of the 95 degree days...but coming from Minnesota i really have no place to complain. Everything is still green and in bloom (i keep being told that soon it is going to all die and turn brown and crunchy...lovely) and when the breeze comes in the afternoon it smells like flowers and spring blowing all the way here from back home. There are wildflowers planted behind the outside pens and nestled in them, there are poppies: light pink, papery, poppies. They are beyond beautiful. Last nights full moon was also gorgeous. It hung low and lurking in the clouds around seven-thirty. Not to mention it was huge. There are so many nights i walk up to the house from the barn just in time for the sunset. I stand on the hill and watch it sometimes and it is so amazing to see the clouds turn from light orange and yellow to hot pink and deep purple. I like that part of the day quite a bit.

My kittens are no longer kittens, except for in spirit. They are ginormous, fluff balls with big blue and amber eyes. They act like they own the place, and as far as they know, they do. Merlin has become an expert at catching the small gophers straight out of their holes. It's pretty impressive. Royce ultimately steals them and finishes them off. Alison catches them as well but usually just uses them as entertainment and once she's bored, walks away. Typical girl. They are all lovebugs. Everyone is amazed at how friendly they all are. I adore them. Still.

Well that is about all for now. Of course there are always new horses, projects, and experiences but when aren't there. Just happy i FINALLY wrote again. I have to get better at this...

Until next time,

-greer

49 Days...Oops

I told myself, when i decided to write a blog about my time out in California, that i would be responsible with it; writing often was the biggest goal i had because the actual writing part is so easy. Needless to say, i think i'm failing.

In two weeks from tomorrow, i will have been here for six months. That is not shocking to me for some odd reason. I think that's because i've finally settled in and everything feels like home to some extent. Waves of homesickness come and go but they are definitely not as bad as when I first got here. Thank god. I'm recognizing things when we drive places, and i could tell you how to get to the beach or LA (mostly because every single sign out here has an exit for it). The longer i'm here, the stronger my desire is to explore. Hopefully i can soon! Six months goes by faster than i thought...

Trying to explain the things i've learned about riding would be impossible. The things i've been learning are starting to become ingrained in my head every time i get into a saddle. I have this subconscious checklist i go through throughout my entire ride, not only for me but the horse too. How's my position, where are my legs, hands, are my fingers closed, is my right leg too far back? Is the horse on the bit, on the forehand, is he listening to my aids? The list goes on and on and on....It's pretty amazing because i feel like i am in a boot camp. I've started expecting a certain level of work from every horse i ride. I think that's the teamwork aspect; i put in a certain level of effort and the horse should work as hard as i do. The most rewarding thing for me has been seeing and feeling the change in my horse. He is so different and so much easier to ride in comparison to when he first got here. Suzie rode him the other day and that was the first time i got to see him go around. I was so proud; because of the work i've done with him he feels better and looks even more handsome than he did before (if that's possible). I can't wait to see what he's like in another five months. I can't wait to know then, what I still have to learn now.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'm going to do when my apprenticeship is done here. The idea of moving back home is always comforting, but i've been wondering if that's really what i want to do. What i really want is to learn as much as possible, and to become as good of a trainer and rider as i can be. It's good to keep my mind open to anything and everything. Who knows, maybe i'll be shipped over to Germany for a few months! I just know that whatever opportunities have yet to make their way into my life, i won't be afraid to take risks in order t0 have the experiences.

One thing that i've realized is how important it is to have balance in your life. I am living my dream, but now that i've been here for so long it's time to meet some people and actually start having a little bit of a life outside of the barn. I just hope that i can meet people here that are as amazing as my friends from back home!

Well hopefully i'll write sooner than i have been. Until next time.....

Evanescent

Going home is something inexplicable. It is a mix of memories, comfort, and anxiousness. Memories flood into my mind when I make the drive on the highway back to my house and drive around the city. Past adventures play out on the streets that I drive on, and remind me how much I loved growing up here. Comfort leaks from my house, my family, and my friends. I love that we behave as though no time has passed since the last time we were together. An onlooker would have no idea that we have been apart for months. That is one thing I am insanely grateful for; my friends are such an integral part of my life. They support me, make me laugh until I can’t breathe, give me advice from another perspective, and listen when I need an ear. They are all truly amazing people that I have been lucky enough to encounter early on in my life. I miss them everyday, and that makes coming home that much sweeter.

I think the anxiousness I feel when I am home is the worry that I have such little time to cram everyone and everything together. This time I was lucky enough to not have that be an issue, but I felt it at thanksgiving break. I kept worrying that I was missing something or someone. It was unsettling. I never would have guessed that I would feel anxious. The fact that when I am home I have no responsibilities may also be a contributing factor. To go from taking care of a barn all day everyday to being able to lounge for an entire day if I so desire, takes a day or two of adjusting. But I’d like to make it very clear that I am in NO way complaining. I love visiting Minneapolis.

About four days into my visit, I was sitting on the couch and suddenly had this intense desire to ride. If you love horses, you understand what that urge feels like. It’s like this craving to have a really good ride and get something done. I don’t know how to describe it yet. I’ll figure it out.

The day before I left I had an absolutely amazing ride on Suzie’s horse Hobo. It was a beautiful late afternoon; the rain had stopped finally and the sun was peeking through big, puffy clouds. I got on and immediately knew that everything was going to come together. Those are some of my favorite rides. You get on and it just feels one hundred percent right, and your head is in the perfect mindset to accomplish something as a team. Hobo was an absolute dream for me and it was so fulfilling and fun. I was on cloud nine when we were done.

Being back is nice. Coming back reminds me how much I absolutely love this and don’t want to do anything else. This is too much fun. Now it’s time to get into a serious routine because there will be no visits home for a long time. I’m kind of excited to keep learning and growing; so much has already changed so what else is going to? I can’t wait.

I hope everyone had a good holiday season surrounded with the people they love and that matter most. I was lucky enough to. I can't describe how grateful i am for all the people that are in my life. Thanks to all of you for being supportive, making me laugh/smile/happy, and sticking around.

Until next time...

Family

This entry is dedicated solely to my family. They are the most important people in my life and i wouldn't be me without them.

Jackson- you are such a butthead but such a great person at the same time. You know how to push my buttons more than anyone i know. You also know how to make me laugh. You are always finding a way to make the best of a situation; you see opportunities where other people don't and that is amazing. Your quick, witty remarks can either piss me off or make me laugh. You'd probably say they piss me off more often than not, but even when they do i still wonder how you got so clever. I know you probably think it's weird for me to say all this about you but you need to know it. I miss you more than you know and love you so much. Thanks for being my smart-ass little brother. Love you fo eya and eya.

Booth- tall and silent. That's how a lot of people see you. Or maybe just mom...But you are smart, patient, and thoughtful. You have the ability to know when to say the right thing whether it makes other people smile, laugh, or think. You always get a wonderful reaction because no one ever expects it from you. You used to be the mediator between jackson and me but now we can all be together without trying to kill one another. I know that i can talk to you about anything. I am so thankful and lucky to have you as my brother. I love you tons.

To both of you: the times that we have all sat together, just the three of us, have been so much fun. I remember so many times where i would come home from somewhere to find you two in the kitchen and we would all start talking about random things. Or meandering over into your room when i was bored to sit down and talk with you two about school, or how mad mom and dad made us sometimes. I can't wait to see you both next week, and face it, you are going to have to hug me. I love you guys a lot and will always be here for you whether you need me or not.

Nana, you are the best grandmother i could have ever asked for. I have done so many fun things with you and you have passed so much of your wisdom on to me. You are always supportive and encouraging me to do what i love. You are so sweet and kind. I love you more than words can say and always will. Thank you for shaping me into the person i am today. I truly love you.

Mom, you know how i feel about you. You are one of my best friends which is pretty rare for a daughter to be able to say. If you ever need a reminder of how much i love you, read through all of your birthday cards, and mother's day cards because i know they will pass on my love. Thank you for making me, me and teaching me all the things i know. Thank you for making me confident and thoughtful. Thank you for always listening even while you were half asleep in bed. Thank you for giving me advice when i need it, and thank you for pushing me to follow my dreams and chase after what i want. I love you to the moon and back infinity times.

Dad, i love you so much. It's weird the connection a father and a daughter have...it's something truly extraordinary. I know that you are always there for me and want to make sure i never go through things alone. You have taught me to be strong, and witty (some might call me a smart-ass). You showed me that sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do in order to get to the things you love. You have taught me how to be steadfast and not care what other people think. Please know that no matter what ever happens, i love you always. I would never have wanted anybody else as a dad but you. I will be your sweetpea forever.

All of you are my world, and i couldn't live without you. No matter what, you will always come first because you are my family.

"What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to be with each other in silent, unspeakable memories."

I love you guys.

Oh Wow

Colic surgery, new horse, better riding, lots of laughs, and numerous adventures. These are all things (condensed of course) that have happened since i last wrote.

I got to watch a colic surgery on a horse i was in no way attached to which was wonderful in a strange way. It was a wednesday (our days "off" but really, the days we take for field trips/adventures) and i got out of the shower to learn from Suzie that we were going to get a tour of the Chino Hills Equine hospital. I was really excited. To keep up with tradition, we stopped to get doughnuts. The only reason i wanted to fill you in on this side trip is because i want to remember that Mama's Doughnuts has the best coconut doughnut ever. Alright, moving on. The tour was absolutely fascinating. I got to see the operating rooms, the recovery rooms, the barn where all the patients were, the lab, the x-ray room, the tools that were used, and the list goes on and on. Joe, the generous man who gave us the tour, explained to us how a typical surgery went. As we were getting ready to leave, we ran into one of the doctors that Suzie knows and he invited us to sit in on a colic surgery that was going to be preformed in a half hour. Little did i know, that in the next four hours i would see so much. We dubiously ate lunch beforehand and luckily didn't live to regret it. As i sat above in the viewing room i thought to myself how surreal the whole thing was; it wasn't natural for a horse to be lying on a bed with its legs in the air, having surgery on its stomach. That was the hardest part for me. Overall, however, it was very fascinating. I would go on to describe the surgery in full, but it would be bore you. It was so interesting in person. The doctor did a great job at being thorough and giving advice to the owner. He ended up re-secting the large intestine by cutting most of it out. Before he did that he made sure to examine every inch of the small intestine which, mind you, is only 67 feet long. No big deal. It was intriguing. Even though i can handle the blood aspect of it, I could never be an equine vet because i would get too attached to the horses and not be able to look at it from an objective angle. I admire the people who are there though, that takes a decent amount of strength. Hopefully, i will never see them again, unless we go back and visit.

Technically, I got a new horse for the next year and a half! She is truly suzie's but, she is my project for the rest of the time i'm here. She got here yesterday morning and is adorable. Her name is Vega (pronounced "Bega") after the plane Amelia Earhart flew. She's an andalusian/thoroughbred cross with bay coloring and black socks and a black dorsal marking down her back. She has soft eyes and a sweet disposition. At least so far. Apparently she might be a little bit of a problem child to start but i'm sure after i spend some time training her, she will be adored by many. Hope so. She is only 1 1/2 years old. I get to start riding her in the spring and show her before i leave. I can't wait! I will post pictures and write about my success, or failures, with her. I am sure there will be many bites, kicks, and lessons to learn. So exciting!

Having raven here is indescribable. I still can't get over seeing him every morning when i wake up and walk out of my room. He is always blowing me away with his willingness to try the new things i ask of him when we work. He is proud that an old dog can learn new tricks. He is starting to feel different when i ride him and it's so cool to think that it's only been three weeks. I love him.

It's a love hate relationship with the kittens. They have tripled in size since i got them and their energy has sky rocketed. Tomorrow night they are being exiled into a stall. I can't wait to actually sleep, even though i'll miss them cuddling up to me and purring in my ear. Like i said, love hate.

Can i just say that i am so overwhelmed/ecstatic/anxious/happy/thrilled that i get to visit home for thanksgiving!!! I cannot wait to see my family, my home, my friends, and the familiar things i miss. I can't wait to meet my parents at the airport, drive on 35W to see the skyline, drive down my alley, drag my suitcase through my backyard, open my back door, smell the wonderful smell of my home, catch up with my brothers, run upstairs, plop down on my bed and take in the fact that i will get to see my friends in the next 24 hours. Only two and a half more weeks! Wow, that is going to go by insanely fast.

Is it annoying if i say how lucky i am again? If it is, too bad. I'm so damn lucky.

Until next time....

love,

greer

I'm Running out of Titles

I've been thinking about having a home all day today. I've been thinking about how nice it will be when i have a home of my own, when i walk in the door and feel so cozy and comfortable. Last week i was walking through target and passed through the home goods section and saw all of these cute things that i would buy if i had a place to put them. It is funny to think that a couple of years ago when my mom would drag me through the home section of stores i would say "really? and why would i want to look at that stuff?", but now it's fun to imagine what will one day be in a place i live. I can't wait. My mom told me a couple days ago that my bedroom back home was going to be in the City Pages (a local newspaper). It made me pine for my warm, soft, plush bed and the walls where all my pictures were. I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed when i visit home. Those of you who know me, know how much i love my bed and the one i have out here can, in no way whatsoever, compare.

Today i also thought about how lucky i am. I was remembering how with my previous jobs there would be days where the time to get ready for work would roll around, or i'd be on my way in and couldn't stop thinking about how it was the last thing i wanted to do. But with this, the worst part is getting up early and that's about it. I keep wondering if the brilliance and dazzle of it all will fade. My gut is telling me it won't. Another reassuring factor is that susie still loves it and she has been doing it for 30 years. I am pretty sure that once you fall in love with horses, there is no falling out.

I trapped Fuznutz tonight in an empty stall (this is the elusive black and white, plump barn kitty). He and his girlfriend were hanging around the feed cart and quickly darted down the barn aisle as i came out of my room and caught sight of them. But Fuznutz couldn't stay away; he was curled up on top of the hay bales the entire time i was mucking stalls. When i found him there i took a couple steps toward him to see if i could pet him but he swiftly jumped onto the top of the wall between the two stalls and hopped down into the other stall. I quickly ran over and shut the stall door, trapping him in. I was proud of myself for a second. I thought that for the next few days i would keep him in there, give him some food and water and wait for susie to get back to take him to the vet. Then he looked at me and immediately decided i was milk-able, so he started crying like a little baby for me to let him out. Once he started pacing the stall like a pro i felt bad and gave in. I opened the door saying "here you go fuznutz" in a sweet voice. The little shit zoomed past me and disappeared into the dark parking lot. After our incident tonight, i probably won't see him for another week.

I'm listening to a song called Dodo right now by dave matthews and it's a really pretty song. Just thought i would share! I hope life is being good to you. Until next time....

love,

greer

Five weeks

Wow. Five whole weeks, has it really been so long already? At home, waiting five weeks for something would seem like forever but here they just fly by.

Raven finally got here two days ago. I can't even begin to describe the relief/happiness/excitement/comfort i felt the second i saw him. He got here at 430 in the morning and i stayed up with him all day. I don't know how i did it. I was so impressed by his confidence as he started to settle in and show me that he is the bravest horse i know. Within three hours he was acting like he had been here all his life. I took him out in the afternoon and let him meander around in the covered arena. He was curious with everything, but especially skeptical about the cows across the way. I think their horns have him wondering. Today he kept a younger horse company in the turnout pen and didn't stress when rain started coming down...after all he is from Minnesota. Later in the day he got to split an apple with me as i sat on my trunk outside his stall waiting for the rain to get quiet. He is going to get so spoiled be so close to me all the time. He's already started nickering at me ever so softly when i walk past him. I love it.

The kittens are driving me insane at night. They have gotten bigger, noisier, even more curious, and clumsy. They sit in my hair and chew on it, run over my face, chase my feet when i move around under the covers, pounce onto one another and roll on the floor, and attack my shoes that are placed neatly against the wall each night (every morning they are in a different spot then when i left them, especially my sneakers which they somehow drag around by the laces). Usually when they wake me up i only have enough energy to moan in annoyance and try to fall back asleep. Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. I've started playing with them at night after letting them stuff their bellies with food, all in an effort to make them less rowdy throughout the night. It helps, thankfully. I just don't understand why every time i come into the room during the day they are curled up in balls sleeping and when i come in at night they decide to cause a ruckus. I never even considered how much different having three kittens in a little room compared to a house would be. It's very different. Good thing i adore them like crazy.

My riding is getting so, so, so much better. It's so fun to get on a horse and work with it in such a better, more efficient way. During each ride i am constantly repeating things Susie has told me to do in my head. I need to work on a lot still but the improvement i have made feels great. I am so excited to see how much more everything changes within the next month.

I've noticed the lack of how great fires smell here. I think a huge part of the feeling of it being fall is being outside and starting to smell people's fires in their houses. You don't smell that here because its the burning season. Everything is dry and ready to burst into flames if one lick of a fire gets loose. It's too bad because that smell against a cold, crisp night is so good. I am excited to go home at Christmas, walk around at night and smell fires. I'm excited to be bundled up in a coat and my snow boots and hear the crunching of the snow underneath my feet. I'm excited to see big, white snowflakes fall. The time between now and then is going to go by before i know it.

So that's whats going on with me for now. There are tons of other things but i am way too tired to think of them right now. Maybe next time...

love,

greer

New Things

Its weird to think that I’ve been here for three weeks on tuesday already. It seems like it hasn't been that long but at the same time it feels like i've been here longer. I still have not discovered if this is something good, or if it is something bad. I can’t even describe how many things I have learned to you all. Just thinking about listing them makes me feel overwhelmed. If you can imagine me imagining all the things I’ve learned and feeling stressed, I think that might be pretty decent insight into how much knowledge I’m gaining. Susie has come up with a really great system of keep track of it all; for each new subject that I learn about, whether it be food/nutrition/tack/health care/barn management/theory, I start a new notebook to fill. She was showing me all of hers and it was cool to see them in the bookcase and think that I was one day going to know all of the things in those in addition to what I had filled with my notebooks. So, needless to say, today I went to target and I now have four notebooks that are ready to be filled. Ha, and it’s only been two weeks and 5 days.

Mom and dad left almost a week ago to go back home. It was nice to have them here. Mom got to ride while dad ran errands to figure out how to get the internet (I finally have it in my room, thank you dad). We went to laguna beach and oh my god was it beautiful. We, regretfully, didn’t bring our swimsuits. It was so frustrating because the water was nice once you got used to it, and the ocean is always tempting you to go into it. We walked along the beach and let the sun soak into our skin. It was fun to think that I was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt on the beach, wading in the water at the end of September. It was fun to know that the beach is only thirty minutes away from me now. I am definitely going there on one of my days off. Anyways, we went to the Cliff for dinner and all I can say is yum. We sat outside, on the cliff obviously, and ate dinner. The sunset was pink and as the glowing sun dropped into the water, Catalina was a black anchor out in the ocean. Then once the sun was a hot pink sliver on the horizon, the entire sky lit up bright orange, a light pink, magenta, pale pale yellow, and streaks of light gray. It was so perfect. I love the ocean almost as much as i love horses.

Last wednesday was one of the most mischievous days i've had in a while. Susie and I got up at 6 and left the house to start our trip to the Santa Anita racetrack to watch the morning workouts. We were in the car, in traffic, for an hour and a half. Keep in mind this place is less than 30 minutes away with clear freeways. We finally got there and discovered that there were no horses on the grounds. Bummer. However, the security guard said we could go and look around. Not a bummer. Needless to say, we pulled some pretty sneaky stuff. It started out innocent...just walking around in the stands (did i mention the backdrop for the bright green, manicured track is mountains and gorgeous palm trees?), exploring hallways, stairways, etc. Then we somehow found our way to the jockeys door and quickly snapped a photo of me in front of it. Then we magically got to walk on the racetrack itself and i got to take a picture at the starting gate, and from the winners circle. It was beyond cool to be that sneaky and get to do that. It was so amazing to walk on the track and think about all of the famous racehorses that had won there, especially Seabiscuit. Walking around and seeing all the old, beautiful architecture made me imagine what it would be like back in the day. There must have been so much excitement radiating from that track. Being there made me realize i actually do like historical outings, as long as i know enough about the place i'm exploring. After we left the track we went to a tack store and spent four and a half hours there. I learned more things i didn't know. Then after that, it got even better. Before i continue, however, i have to let you in on something that was put into play a week or two back. So, susie had come to the conclusion that she needed a barn kitty. Or two for that matter. They were needed because there are mice that like to hide behind the tack trunks, and there are people at the barn who like kitties, and what's a barn without a cat? So, with the need for kitties, we thought it would be a good idea to stop at the humane society on our way back home. Not such a great idea. We got to the kitty room, and were immediately sucker punched by the adorable, mewing kittens. We walked around trying to ignore the little ones because they would take too long to learn how to hunt. We found these two boy cats that we thought would be good candidates and asked if we could take them out. The lady who was working said they were on hold. Shoot. So we walked around the corner, and there they were. There were two pairs of blue eyes, and a pair of brown staring at us. As we walked closer, one started reaching his paw out at us. Like i said, we were sucker punched. Before we knew it, we were walking out the door with merlin, rolls royce, and alison. Oh boy. I mean, we couldn't leave just the one right? All three were necessary, or at least that's what we had to keep telling ourselves. They are so squeezable and lovable. Except for when they claw at my eyelashes when i sleep, and attack my feet when i walk across my room. I'm laughing to myself because i know that all of my friends tell me i'm going to be a cat lady one day. Well i guess that day came, and the worst part is i couldn't help it. Now i have three little kittens that lounge on my bed, and play in my hair. Oh and did i tell you there are horses ten feet away from me at all times and the ocean is only thirty minutes away? Life is good. Now just transport my family, friends, and horse and life is perfect.

I know that this entry is extremely long but there is just one, small, simple thing i remembered; i have had deja vu so many times at the barn it is scary. I don't know about you but i believe that everything happens for a reason, and i think i'm getting deja vu because i'm really supposed to be here. Every time it starts happening, i giggle to myself and smile because at that moment everything feels right. It's a great feeling.

Well thanks for reading. I hope i always keep you smiling and entertained. Until next time....

love,

-greer

Crazy For You

Here is something that i wrote before i left minnesota. It's not finished but i wanted to write it while i remembered! I hope you all like it!

Time to say goodbyes

after many hellos

how to say it i really don't know

but as a girl you call your friend

its necessary to tie you all in

i never thought my dream would take me away

one thousand and nine hundred miles today

But each one that passes, i will know

Minneapolis you've made me smile,

you've also made me grow.

The people i've met,

and the things that i've done,

will be in my heart forever

acting as my very own sun.

For now they guide me to the west

and what follows is an attempt

to make my words their absolute best.

Since we were six,

and drilled holes in trees with sticks

you have been around.

Bold and eccentric,

i think that's why we first clicked.

From sledding in winter,

and beaches in summer,

you will always be one of my front runners.

In my heart you will stay,

Til my blonde hair turns gray.

I love you forever Miss Chanel A.

As you ran around the bases,

there were many cheering faces.

In our yellow "jersesys"

that's when life was not so topsy turvy.

You were at my party with the pony.

Never in my life have you once been a phony.

Honest and true,

that's why i love you.

Extremely smart,

it's just an extra bonus that you are full of heart.

Your love of life is contagious,

the way you work seems hellacious.

Babyvamps you're truly amazing.

I admire how your fire in life is constantly blazing.

You attract people who know how to have fun.

I'm glad i got to be one of the lucky ones.

To call you a friend is a blessing.

I love you always and forever

babyvamps, shmem,

and most often known as my best friend.

Judge budge:

You were one of the first friends at school.

Little did i know together we'd be such fools;

sitting in my kitchen and meeting boys on my couch.

If you and gregg get married,

i'll be the one to vouch

that he got lucky

because you are beautiful, smart, and funny.

You stick up for all of us, ready to pack a punch

(not to mention your lady gaga crush).

You are gangly and it's great,

you never let other girls hate.

You are kind and you are grand,

always there to lend a hand.

I hope you know i'll miss you lots,

in the meantime party please!

I'll be stuck in solidarity

love you always, greer b.b.

There is a boy i know so well,

and a long time ago my heart fell

for his cute face and scruffy beard,

he grabs my butt but it's not weird.

He is brilliant in everything he does

except using spellcheck,

that's shmem and i's job.

He is too sweet and deserves the best.

In a dance competition,

he'll put you to the test.

He can move like none other,

and when there's music,

run for cover!

I'll miss your quirky self more than you know

love you to the moon joejoe.

You often get teased because you're so short,

i wonder if you'd ever resort

to a punch or a jab?

Or maybe a pinch like a crab,

but wait,

you're not that bad.

You have soul, you have 'tude.

We flashed new york our boobs.

Forgive me for sharing,

but you shouldn't be caring

because ever so sweetly

you helped me pretend to be "Dmitri".

You are loyal and sweet

without you, i'll weep.

But come christmas,

I'll see your bright, shining face

and it will feel like their never was a trace

of us being apart.

Until then, my friend,

time will move like a sloth.

I love you till the end Rachel M Roth.

Lil-bit, chief red buffalo, and elizabit:

these are all names i call you for the hell of it.

How to describe you, i'll never know.

But by using ebonics,

i hope will help show.

Gurl, i luv joo

alwayz have,

frum dat time in science,

when we waz doin dat lab.

Ur energy captured me,

i'll never forget:

king of the forest, and "wazzup betch?!"

chief woap and chief buffs,

friendth till da end.

Taking you away iz lyke breathing wit no oxygen.

A montage of songz,

a mix of crazy nights.

Having a lion for best freend is tight!

My love for you is deep,

like the silk pillows on which you sleep.

But seriously, don't theenk

i don't love joo.

I'm here for you no matter what,

for the days when you're stuck in a rut.

Espeyshally dose.

Pink is what you tickle me,

i love you always

-greer "griggle" bee

What a weird name, i thought when i heard

that your first name isn't even a word.

It's amazing in fits in that sentence six times,

let's see how many more we can fit in with rhymes.

Red head, great and (at times) hate,

special, extreme, punctured spleen,

exuberant, exciting, freaky (when fighting),

sweet, endearing, hard of hearing,

cooking-evader, cleaning up later,

like a key, opens doors for me,

boulder, skier, expert beer drinker,

paddle boat with greer. Wow i'm stopping here.

So as you can see,

there are a lot of words with E's

but you are the best,

it's rare for me to confess

that you are my favorite form

of t-time, of E.

It's not very rogue

to say you will always be a best friend to me

E Tyler Hoeg

Sadsim, puffin

I don't know where to begin.

You are as sweet as the colors of fall,

as enthusiastic as a 10 year old.

And as kind hearted as a wise old woman who has seen it all.

You have an outlook on life that seems to be:

Keep being you and i'll keep being me,

yes you fall,

and when you do,

get right back up,

and keep seeing it through.

You've taught me to be more thoughtful, loving, and carefree.

Please keep being you, because i'll keep being me.

Love you forever,

in my heart you'll be.

i love you tons

sincerely, greer b

Poundcakes are for eating,

but this poundcake is deceiving.

You mess with her and i doubt you'll get a gentle beating.

She is fiery, she is witting,

taking a bit might not be pretty.

She can romp, she can dance

When i was 9, i peed her pants.

She is loving, she is grand.

If she were able, she'd be my man.

She has my back, i have hers.

To describe our friendship there are no words.

I'll miss you, you'll miss me

but together we will always be.

Through your highs, and through your lows

I'll be here to scare your woes.

No matter if we have give and take,

or make skyping our only date,

i'll be here through thick and thin

because Caelli Feliz Wright,

you are my kin.

Like i said, not finished. Until next time

love,

greer

Initation Weekend

so my first weekend is almost completely over. i have to say that being here on my own, more is less, has been beneficial. it's forced me to learn the routine quickly and become familiar with the horses. now they don't think i'm just some stranger coming into their stalls. another part of being here on my own has taught me another thing: exhaustion. last night i was ready to go to bed at nine (keep in mind it was a saturday night). i was too tired to shower even. yea, i know it's kind of disgusting but my body just didn't want to do anymore than it needed to. it was funny to lie in bed at 10 and think that my friends were somewhere partying or going out and there i was lying in bed, ready to pass out. i've stopped waking up and thinking i'm in bed at home. the room is starting to feel like home now, and so is the barn.

i saw the kitty again last night. as i came down to the barn from dinner and passed the hallway, i looked over and there he was lying next to a tack trunk. immediately i thought about trapping him in the feed room but then remembered suzie wouldn't be home for another day so it wouldn't be easy keeping him in there. i went over to pet him and he teased me by rolling on his back. then as soon as i was close enough to scratch his belly, he ran. i think i'm going to bring down a couple treats tonight.

so since raven is still not here i've taken to this one chestnut mare at the barn named risky. on wednesday night i had to be on colic watch with her. for those of you that don't know, a horse colics when there is pain in their abdomen. there are lots of different kinds and it can, in serious cases, kill a horse. so that first night i had to get up every two and a half hours to check on her and hand walk her. it wasn't fun but it made me adore her. now whenever i pass by her, or clean out her stall, i always give her a little extra love. she is in no way complaining; she half fell asleep today when i was rubbing her cheek. she's my object of affection until raven comes.

yesterday, i surprised myself. i'm not sure if this ever happens to you but sometimes i feel like i am not quite sure of myself and think that if someone asked me what i wanted to do, or where i wanted to go with this whole thing, all i could say is "hm that's a good question. i haven't figured it out yet." But last night, i proved myself wrong. the lady who was helping me clean stalls was asking me questions like "what do you want to do after, where do you want to be, do you want to do it full time" and so on. the crazy part was that i had answers for all the questions. i knew the answers without really knowing that i had known them. as i was responding to her, my mind took a backseat and my mouth kept going. and it wasn't wrong. i guess i knew, subconsciously, where i want to be eventually (back in minnesota), and what i want to do (train full time), and what i want my life to be like (happy). granted, these things are all probably going to change but it was relieving to listen to myself and feel confident that i have things i want to accomplish. its also comforting because it let me know that subconsciously, i'm always working towards something. so now i just need to get there.

one thing that i am kind of ashamed to admit, is how much i miss having the internet at my fingertips 24/7. There's no wireless at the barn, and in a way it makes me feel like a hermit. its sad how much i rely on the internet to keep in-touch with friends but thats the reality of our culture. my mom and dad are supposed to be flying out tomorrow (SO EXCITED!) and hopefully while they're here we can go buy a USB verizon connector or whatever that thing is. i mean come on, i need to at least be able to skype with my friends from the comfort of my adorable new room.

i'll try to post some pictures next time. thanks for reading and i miss everyone tons. until next time

love,

greer

OH MY GOD

hey everybody! i have to admit it feels really strange to say that because i'm not actually talking to you. i'm just writing whats going on with my new, crazy, exciting adventure for whoever wants to know. i thought this would be the easiest way to keep anyone who wants to know, up to date.

ok wow. how can i even explain how my life has done a complete 180 within the last 48 hours. I am halfway across the country, trees are prickly looking, family is reached only through phone, days start at 7 AM and end at 10 PM, mountains are always in my line of sight, summer is back, and horses are not twenty minutes away anymore. so many things have happened since i've been here, and all of them have been great. I can't believe its only been two days. i need to get used to feeling like a sponge that needs to soak everything that's laid in front of me, up. there is going to be so, so, SO much to learn.

the first morning i was here we went to another barn to give lessons, and this place was unlike anything i've ever seen. the house was situated on top of a tiny hill and as you walked to the side of it, the little sanctuary made itself known. It was this adorable, little barn tucked away like a hidden paradise with a half arena tucked next to tall, flowery hedges. it's crazy that out here, the smallest piece of land is allowed horses. my mom has always said that she wants her dream barn to be connected to the kitchen, and here i think that would be possible. maybe. it was so cool and satisfying to be immersed into learning so quickly upon getting out here. I sat watching lessons and learning, and thought to myself "this is my life for the next year and a half, how lucky am i?"

i wake up each morning to walk across the hall to go to the bathroom and the horses can't stop talking to me; they think i've been awake long enough to give them food. little do they know, i am half asleep. the mornings are cold and crisp and the sun glows orange through the barn and bounces off the hills past the arena. there's not much green, but soon there will be. the time passes so quickly because i am constantly busy with something. for example, today in my "downtime" i vacuumed all the spiders and cobwebs out from the tack room. never in my life have i felt so creeped out, yet satisfied at the same time. it's going to be a weekly thing now. this morning i rode and it felt good to be on a horse. raven isn't here yet and i am beyond anxious for him to be. his stall is directly across from my room and i can't wait to wake up, give him a kiss, then go brush my teeth. i also can't wait to start working with him and see how he develops. ahhh so exciting!!

My goals are: learn everything, make mistakes, stay out of everyones way as much as possible or just be helpful, have fun, and get Susan's dog to stop barking at me. Also to trap the elusive barn kitty that sneaks around at night. Oh and not to get bit by a black widow. Easy enough. The one hard part will be not being homesick. I've already felt pangs of it here and there but being busy helps more than i could have imagined. Besides, once raven is here i will be fine. But it's not just him i miss.

well thanks for reading! I hope i kept you interested enough that you actually got to this part. until next time...

love,

greer